It has been known for many years that sex is good exercise, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities.
Now after original and proprietary research they are proud to present the
results:
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent. . . . . . . . . . . . 12 Calories
Without her consent. . . . . . . . 187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands. . . . . . . . . . . . 8 Calories
With one hand. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 Calories
With your teeth. . . . . . . . . . . . . 85 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection. . . . . . . . . . . 6 Calories
Without an erection. . . . . . . 315 Calories
PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris. . 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot. 92 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52 Calories
69 lying down. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78 Calories
69 standing up. . . . . . . . . . . 112 Calories
Wheelbarrow. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 216 Calories
Her on top. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 524 Calories
Doggy Style. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 726 Calories
Donkey punch. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 912 Calories
ORGASMIC:
Real. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112 Calories
False. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging. . . . . . . . 18 Calories
Getting up immediately. . . . . . . 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are
20-29 years old. . . . . . . . 36 Calories
30-39 years. . . . . . . . . . . . 80 Calories
40-49 years. . . . . . . . . . . . . 1124 Calories
50-59 years. . . . . . . . . . . 1972 Calories
60-69 years. . . . . . . . . . . 2916 Calories
70 and over. . . . Results are still pending
DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
Calmly. . . . . . . . . . . . 32 Calories
In a hurry. . . . . . . . 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1218 Calories
With your spouse knocking at the door. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5521 Calories